


All that spirits desire, spirits attain

by squirrellysemantics



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Gay Male Character, M/M, Male Slash, Sexual Content, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-02
Updated: 2012-05-02
Packaged: 2017-11-04 16:59:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/396124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squirrellysemantics/pseuds/squirrellysemantics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaidan's waited for Shepard for a long, long time and he's not sure how much longer he can wait.   A story in the wake of ME3. No real spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All that spirits desire, spirits attain

Patience is a virtue but not for Kaidan. Not right now.

At this very moment, he’s trying not to smile at an itch coming from just under his skin, prickly and hot and begging to be scratched. Toss a few drinks onto the fire and that desire takes on an urgency that could burn the whole place down if he let it and every bit of him wonders how much longer he can hold out.

It’s not the strobe lights painting the dance floor or the bass line that’s designed to punch holes in anything without an exoskeleton that makes him want to leave, though he could have done without risking the mother of all migraines. 

It’s not the music or the crowds because god damn it if there weren’t far too many times when he’d been hungry for a taste of either. Too many hours alone by no choice of his own, too much time served when the only thing worth he clung to was duty.

Right now, he wants to be gone before he makes an ass of himself but he’s pinned to the edges of a packed house, literally trapped in Purgatory, nursing something cold and sweet and a horrific shade of fuchsia.

An impulse has built until it’s barely in check and he’s skating on the thinnest of ice, ready to break down a barrier he’s had for a long, long time. 

Self-control has been a rule of his by necessity but rules were meant to be broken when Shepard was around.

Kaidan’s been content to watch his commander tear up the dance floor for most of the night. 

OK, that’s a lie. 

Kaidan’s wanted to drag Shepard into a corner and do things that would be considered conduct unbecoming of an officer and a gentleman all night long and Kaidan is way too close to giving in.

It sure as hell isn’t because of Shepard’s dancing, because that’s a quandary only answered by someone above Kaidan’s pay grade- how a man with such grace on the battlefield ends up with the moves of a drunk lemur in a club.

It’s that confidence that does it for him.

That fearlessness, no matter the odds.

His laugh escapes him as he watches Shepard receive an asari evil eye for another arm-swinging breach of airspace.

Too many years Kaidan has denied himself this and he wants to horde every moment he can, hold onto it as precious because it is. The urge to hide Shepard away from the universe for a little while has reached its tipping point tonight.

Because deep down, there’s something dark that whispers Kaidan might not ever get another chance.

Maybe it’s time for some air before he’s attacking Shepard on the dance floor. Sweet and fuchsia gets ditched at the bar, though his actions go far from unnoticed. He puts on his brave face as Shepard moves to intercept. 

Only Shepard can look this damn good covered in sweat and the stink of a night of dancing and he looks at him, looks through him, and there’s a light in Shepard’s eyes that hints he knows everything.

A hot breath at Kaidan’s ear simply confirms it.

“We should go.”

Kaidan won’t argue. 

Getting led by the hand keeps Kaidan from having to think with Shepard clearing the way to the exit in the straightest of lines. That’s not a bad thing when he’s got front row seats for Shepard’s jean covered ass. Only Shepard gets away with wearing clothing styles that’s what- nearly two centuries old? 

Another rule down the tubes. 

Close quarters in the elevator makes everything smell like Shepard and Kaidan is twitching to do something that would give whatever poor sap was watching the security cams in C-Sec an eyeful. Shepard hasn’t let go of his hand and that makes everything better and worse at the same time, and Kaidan can’t think of anything but the finger strumming the base of his wrist.

The airlock on the Normandy’s a bit of a blur and mother of god, they’re in another damned elevator. It’s way too hot to breathe and the door hasn’t even shut before Kaidan is tugging at an archaic t-shirt to gain access to some skin. There’s a throaty chuckle that makes Kaidan find himself leaving little marks along Shepard’s throat with his teeth and he is well beyond caring. He’s not the only one and Kaidan shivers at the hand stroking him through his trousers.

There’s a whoosh of air as the lift doors shut but the elevator doesn’t go anywhere before the doors immediately open again and Kaidan is ready to drop to his knees before he realizes that they’re no longer alone.

Their inadvertent audience of one is frozen in place, Joker’s hand still floating at the elevator’s call button with wide eyes and a flush crawling up his neck. “Whoa there! I… uh. I’ll… um-”

Jeff speechless? Guess that was one more rule broken.

“You guys go on ahead!” The doors shutter closed but Kaidan catches the break in Joker’s voice anyway. “I’ll catch the next one.”

There’s motion again, mouths on each other in earnest this time now that they’re alone. Shepard has a kiss that sucks you in and Kaidan never wants to leave, so he’s still trying to capture Shepard’s tongue between his lips as he’s frog-marched in some damn direction or another. 

Where they end up isn’t Shepard’s cabin, that’s for sure. The starboard observation deck has a viewing port that Kaidan loves more than anything. Well, almost more than anything.

Open space is a sumptuous curtain of black, colored with the light of star after star, more planets and more life than one being could comprehend, and the only thing that could get Kaidan to tear his eyes away from it was in front of him now. 

Maybe those ancient outfits weren’t so silly after all because Shepard is free from his clothes much more quickly than the extra buckles and fastenings that Kaidan gets to deal with, though Shepard is more than happy to render aid. 

Small touches are making Kaidan lose his mind but he’s just fine with that as Shepard presses him into the couch, this man that Kaidan’s been waiting for for years kneeling before him as if this was where he belonged all along.

Lips are whisper light on his cock and Kaidan wants to curl around the mouth working him but Shepard is spreading him open and that’s fine too. Shepard keeps his hair buzzed tight but Kaidan still loves the feel of it in his hands, the rough scrape as the head under his palm bobs over him. 

There’s a moment of loss as Shepard stands but it’s not for long since Shepard arranges himself into a straddle across his lap and Kaidan is having difficulties since it’s quite literally hard as hell to not thrust into the magnificent body offering itself to him.

It isn’t long before Shepard is fully astride him, riding Kaidan with that same fearless determination. Kaidan uses the couch to fire back a staccato of his hips that earns him a musical moan that make him wonder just how soundproof the observation deck really was. The cock trapped between is deserving of attention and Kaidan gives it now, taking Shepard in hand to paint their bellies with the beginnings of what more was to come. 

His face is pressed to Shepard’s chest, arms wrapped to keep it like this- just like this- forever but Shepard’s on the move again, bringing them both to standing like Shepard wants to fill the night with an infinite number of possibilities.

Kaidan sees no problem with this and there’s a suddenly a very talented tongue prying him open for all of the galaxy to see. There’s a need for his arms to come up to keep him upright, the press of his hands against the deck’s massive bay window becoming more important once it’s obvious he needs its support. 

His own fingers are ice cold as he spreads them against the protective glass and Shepard’s fingers are hothothot as they make their way into him. The whole of Kaidan rocks along with the motion and an idea works its way into his mind. That some stray light escaping this tiniest of moments might possibly travel the universe, existing well into the future, no matter what that future might bring. The actual chances of this are infinitesimally small but perhaps it’s another rule that Shepard might break and this frail, awkward hope makes everything just a little bit sweeter.

Kaidan is ready, so impossibly ready and so is Shepard but damn it if the man doesn’t with the far too careful deliberation. This is quickly protested and Kaidan’s throwing himself, leveraging his weight against the bay window until Shepard gets the hint and gives it right back. 

The thrusts hit home and the two find this perfect balance for a while, Shepard driving the rhythm and Kaidan making sure to meet him. It’s too perfect after these hours (years) of torture and Kaidan can feel the beginning of the end, his body wound up so tight that his thighs have a quake to them. Shepard is close, too and they end up faltering at the same time. They end up on their knees, Shepard worshipping every scar on Kaidan’s back and there’s no way that Kaidan can keep his hold on the window when he needs to reach for Shepard instead. He doesn’t care that his face is mashed up against the glass as the thrusts become longer, deeper, more erratic because Kaidan’s own motions are much the same and he can’t keep his hands from roaming.

God, so close and this whole game is over when Shepard takes Kaidan in hand to wring the life out of him. Everything has gone white and Kaidan is all over the place as he comes. Shepard is not far behind though he’s still working every nerve that Kaidan has left, teeth latched onto Kaidan’s shoulder just in case the rest of this night wasn’t permanently etched into their memories. Shepard’s helpless little groan as his orgasm overtakes him could have made Kaidan come again if he weren’t already at the point of collapse.

Perhaps they both are closer to that point than they realize and they guide each other to the floor, a half hearted attempt at counting stars begun before exhaustion claims them for the first real sleep either of them has had in quite some time.


End file.
